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The Lord Cometh, the 'Horde Goeth

by Lord Alfred

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13 Witches 02:54
Black Tongue 03:04


What if Lemmy joined Venom, Cronos started Motorhead, Ted Nugent burned down some churches and then stabbed Eric Clapton?
Chuck Berry is dressed up like King Diamond; King Diamond is instead a David Bowie impersonator and never even made it to a big stage. In fact, in this new reality, King Diamond is just a Vegas act called King Stardust and Chuck fuckin' Berry is doing a falsetto Satanic gimmick while playing guitar. B.B. King is in Anthrax instead of Scott Ian. Scott Ian doesn't exist. It's a new universe.
This is the universe Lord Alfred exists in.
Floating out amongst what humans would say is a sky, but others may call the ground, Lord Alfred is teetering on the brink of the edge of the universe. The guitars tremble in a hazy psychedelic mushroom cloud of terror. The drummer's doing old rhythm and blues freakouts.
The vocalist is laying out lines of cocaine for his dog, while singing. He's doing this because the dog asked him to. This is clearly a universe where dogs do more coke than humans. The lead guitarist is studying old blues records. Every lead guitarist should. Then you find out this is all just one dude, playing every instrument, and doing the vocals.
Your brain blows up. Your mom puts her cat in a blender. Some guy's grandpa throws his own scrotum off the roof of his house.
Musicians commit suicide, knowing they'll never be able to achieve this shit.
This is the Lord Alfred dimension. It is a better dimension. The entirety of heavy metal became stale over twenty years ago. The black hole that has birthed Lord Alfred is a gift from the gods.

-Aleister Goldbang


released December 3, 2021

All music and lyrics by Lord Alfred


all rights reserved



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